I am extremely confused.

And when I get confused, I want to run away. Mentally. And physically.

I am scared. I am scared. I am scared.

Because I don't understand myself. Because I don't know what is going on. Because I can't get into your mind.

Because you are too talented. Because you are too popular. Because you are blinded.

I am not worthy of your friendship. I am not worthy to be with you when you may need help.

I hate being rejected. Yet I was rejected time and time again.

No.

No. I don't want all these to sound as if there's something fishy.

No.

I am unsure. I do not know what's the limit. I do not know how to react and show appreciation to your friendship.

I am me. Once I was proud of myself. Me.

Now, I am ashamed of myself. Because of your talents. Because of my life of lies.

When I first met you, I once openly told you to go and die. That's the start of my path to self-actualization. Because I really think that you didn't deserve to br treated like that by a near stranger. Sometimes I can get really angry with myself for being such an ungrateful and impolite brat. But I can't help it.

I am getting confused. I don't understand what you are thinking about. I feel that I am starting to be detached from the group. Now, I am understanding less and less of you everyday. Even losing some information about you from my brain. I have never really understood you at all.

This friendship is tiring.

But it is not your fault. It is mine.

I saw through every detail in life. And sometimes, I feel really tired.

I admit that I am jealous. How can you get so close with an aquaintance than with a good friend? I am an idiot. I am a moron. You are the talented. You are the genius.

I am confused. I hope I can just go away and never come back. The group can just continue with their lives. Just treat that I was never there. That I was never here at all.

I am tired of guessing. I am tired of being tired. I am confused.

We have more similarities than differences. But think again.

I am tired.
I am tired.
My friend, are you tired? Of guessing too?

I know you are...
That's one thing for sure.

I will never joke with you again.
I will never jeer laughingly at you again.
I will never...

Forget it. The more I say, the more people will get hurt. I should just eat all my stupidly moronically idiotic comments up and get poisoned myself. I am the guardian of myself. I can take it. You can't.

Bye bye evil twin.

Hello ashamed twin.

3:20 PM



闯－－五月天

我　烂命一条　走在路上　影子在地上
看　我的慌张　粘在脚下　拉着我不放
我不懂　我不是这样　我不该这样
额头流下的汗　也流进眼眶

为什么要给我一颗跳动的心脏
又忘了给我飞翔的翅膀
每天我活在这多无聊的地方
多么　想要　流浪

为什么要给我一颗跳动的心脏
却把我丢在这寂寞战场
这世界有多大我就有多彷徨
有没有一点希望　让我去闯　
（天涯海角　让我去闯）

把我的灵魂　装进纸箱　寄送到天堂
那　云端的光　会不会是希望的形状
每一天　来了又走了　匆忙的太阳
感觉自己蒸发　慢慢从这个世界上

This is the sadness of life... But we can still be brave and strong with the company of all our friends... People, let's chiong together!!!!


CHIONG ARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:32 PM

This test is quite accurate leix~ Especially the Maths part... Hahahaahahax~ X__X You scored as Theater. You should be a Theater major! Like a bohemian actress, you are seasoned and confident and not afraid to express yourself! Theater 100% Biology 100% Psychology 100% Philosophy 100% Linguistics 100% Journalism 92% Sociology 92% Anthropology 92% Dance 83% Art 83% Chemistry 75% English 67% Mathematics 67% Engineering 58% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

1:11 PM

Am shoooo busy ever since I came back from last year's chalet!

K, anw, I had typed an entry regardng my chalet but ermx, it is rather long. So, I think it will be alot better just to keep in deep within my heart. Like how I will treasure my Bro4 Sis3 & 7 jiemei cliques...

Read jc clique fren yx's blog just now... Hahax! I was like going :" Awwwwww~"

Ya la, itx lidat de. At our age, it is not for us to say whether we want to grow up or not (wo bu xiang wo bu xiang bu xiang zhang da!!!), but to let ourselves be carried through this period by nature and time.

Ok, I am simply crapping.

To my jc clique:
Let bygones be bygones. An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind.
But ermx, sometimes we still need some EXTREME driving force to keep us going through the battles, right? Hahahax~ ^________^

Serene:
Stop stressing yourself can or not? Not every mistake in the world is caused by you la.. Just push everything to those people who just refused to get things sone in the past and let them suffer now! Don't be so soft-hearted! And as for the handphone-exchange-bet you had with somebody... I have nothing to say... except... MUAHAHAHAHA.

Huifang:
You will be always on my mind, Beauty! ( definition of "beauty" agreed by su ah pek at somerset mrt station last xmas eve) And ya, jiayou! We will still be battling side by side, shoulder by shoulder!!

Peishan:
Different classes un mean anything. We are the BEST example!

Yx:
K la. Beatty people are all v cute la. -_-;; But this year's S paper must do us proud by... you know... :wink wink:
Jiayou!!!! Gd luck for NAPFA also~ ^___^

This is the CUTEST Jc clique I've EVER SEEN!!!!!!!!! Lurv ya~ (big hug)

Everybody, jiayou le!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ya, and I finally found my driving force to study le! I will remember my pact with someone to meet in the university! Muahahahahaha~ Hou hui you qi!

And I am going to quit sleeping that much and wake up earlier every day to go to school, so as not to miss my bus and lrt and mrt. T_____T Ok, this is part of my 2006 resolution list la.. hahahax...

I want Victory!!!!!

V~I~C~T~O~R~Y!!!

Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Anw, she diao ying xiong zhuan and mayday rox.

CheERX~

12:36 PM